Lessons and Leaps of Faith

 I see my life in separate seasons. The first was moving around every few years and learning so much about different regions of the south as well as growing up with my friends from Georgia. I have great memories of Young Life, fun on the lake, learning to serve and notice the needs of people around me through GAP, and just amazing friendships that stand through the ages. I am so thankful to the people who invested in my life to create in me the person I am today. I am also blessed and inspired by the amazing people my friends have grown up to be.

                The second season of my life has been serving others. I would not have chosen the path I have taken. I did not know anything like this even existed. I have spent the last 20 years in a neighborhood that has made it to the FBI’s most dangerous places for all of those years. It is a place where people are broken, hurting, at times dangerous, but most of all real. Life takes on new meaning when you get down to the basics of survival. I have been beaten, had a weapon pulled on me, worked in jails and prisons, worked with murderers, rapist, a serial killer, a school shooting and so much more. I have seen abuse towards children as young as 3 days old, parents who sold their children from 3 years old on to buy money for drugs, rape, torture, and so much more that defies any idea I ever had of the evil that exists in this world. I’ve learned more about prostitution, types of abuse, and murder than I ever want to know. There have been many times when I felt like I stood alone in dealing with situations. I say these things not to say anything about myself but to say that through in it all I saw the grace of God. In every situation He has taught me something:

1.    No matter how great the evil in front of me the end has already been written, God has won the victory and No One is beyond redemption. God is the Healer,

2.    When I come to the end of all that I am that gives Him the opportunity to step in and

           show me who He is (I have learned to hand stuff over sooner rather than trying to fix  
          it myself),

3.     Nothing is ever as it seems. Prostitutes/ strippers/ porn stars are not there because they like sex. They have a history of hurt and abuse. Society re-victimizes them when they engage in these activities.

4.     HURT PEOPLE HURT OTHERS. Is that not one of the most important ones for all of us to learn? It is not all about us and when people are ugly, rude, hateful, it is a reflection of what is in their heart (Matt 12:24, Prov 4:23) Understanding this can take the sting out their words and present an opportunity to extend grace which can bring healing, restoration, and freedom.

5.    Every person is a creation of God and therefore has value and worth. But for the grace of God I am the person I am and not walking in the homeless, prostitutes, etc, shoes.

6.    God uses people that are available. Most of the characters in the bible have great faults- Jonah ran in fear, David committed adultery and murdered, Moses murdered. God desires a humble and willing heart not a perfect one.

7.    We live with the effects of our sins and often the consequences of other's sins. That doesn't mean God doesn't care. We all have a free will. He is with us always and desires to heal the broken places within us.

8.    God often turns the things we think of as our greatest weaknesses into our greatest strengths if we will surrender them to him.

I can talk for days of the miracles God has allowed me to bear witness to. I am honored and humble to have been a part. I am sure I will share more over the coming weeks of the things God has shown me in this season of my life.

      The next season is upon me. I am not sure what is next for me in life. One thing I learned in the second season of my life was how to listen when God speaks, at times my life depended on it. God has been stirring my heart for several months that it is time for something different, a new season. This past week I felt Him clearly release me, tell me to take a leap of faith. I resigned from my job Friday. This is very out of character for me as those of you who know me know how reserved and budget conscious I am. I have a peace I cannot describe that God has a plan for the next season of my life and I am to get prepared. I am taking a season to rest, seek Him, and prepare for whatever is next. I look forward to seeing what He has in store. I have learned that if we are not believing God for things of biblical proportions then we are underestimating God. I am not putting any limits on what the next step is, I am going to pray and give Him room to move. God says that as a parent longs to give good things to their children He desires to give even greater things to us. So often we are used to being independent and taking care of things ourselves when what He truly desires is for us to step back and give Him room to show us who He is.

I love you all and thank you for the seeds you have sown in my life. I would love your prayers as I seek what the next season in my life will be and I thank you all for the love and support I have received in taking this leap of faith.

Tonya

 Whatever you want to do Lord, do it in me.