REST? What is that?

     REST as defined by Merriam Webster is freedom from activity or labor, motionlessness, peace of mind, rhythmic silence, a pause, and/or freedom from anxieties. Why do I need a definition of rest? Most of you know I have taken a sabbatical or time of rest. My goals were to take a step back from life, pause, and re-evaluate where/ what God wants from me in this next season of life. I have been surprised at the amount of peace I have felt about this time away as well as the amount of anticipation and excitement towards what is next. However, I have also wondered why this isn't something I have done sooner. It seems such an  important step to in life to pause, examine goals and vision, and CHOOSE what I want my life to represent. As I enter the 3rd week of my time off I have found 3 obstacles that are deterrents to rest.  
     The first obstacle is BUSYNESS. I don't know about you but I find even when I lay down 10 things another 10 pop up I could be doing. My first week off I went to the beach which made it easier to rest as I was away in a new place but even there entertainment can often replace true rest. Being at home there are lots of things that can be done around the yard, around the house, errands, catching up with friends, etc. Busyness seems to be an expectation in our culture. Even when we rest we are busy-watching tv, movies, sports, exercise, extreme exercise, volunteering, looking for the next adrenaline rush, or what about playing on smartphones and tablets? I am blessed to live in a city and attend a church where there are wonderful miraculous things going on. It is a blessing to be a part of and witness God moving but I had to ask myself this week- Is this where God wants me or do I just want to be a part of this? Serving is not bad but when blessed with lots of opportunities to serve it can become busyness. Merriam Webster defines busyness as in use, engaged, full of activity, full of distracting detail, and foolishly or intrusively active. Wow! Those last 2 are powerful definitions- distracting and foolishly active. Our minds, bodies, and spirits need rest. 
     The next obstacle I've found is INDEPENDANCE. We live in a world where getting it done is an art form, an ad slogan, an expectation. Matthew 7:11 talks about if a parent desires to give good things to their child then how much more does the heavenly Father desire to give good things to us.  God longs to to love on us, to give to us, and to reveal to us who He is. One of the main barriers to this is our independence. We rush in to take care of things when sometimes His desire is for us to step back, pray, ask, and give Him room to move. Lord show me how to let go, give my heart pause, and force me to step back when you desire to move. Please don't let me get in your way because I want all that you have for me.
     The third thing God has been speaking to me about is tied in to the first two INSTANT GRATIFICATION. We live in a society of getting what we want when and how we want it.  The microwave dinner I eat most takes 45 seconds to cook. Even when going to a sit down restaurant they often have you out in 30 minutes. Cell phones have been replaced with smart phones and it is expected that emails, texts, calls, etc. are returned within a 'timely' manner often meaning within an hour. Giving God room to move requires prayer and again stepping back to give Him room to move  in His timing not ours. Funny that His timing can sometimes only be an hour or a week but seems so hard to wait for. God began telling me He was ready to make some changes in my life last October 2012 and I really expected to see what it was by January 2013 but here I am in July waiting. The journey has been important. I didn't have an 'all in' moment until June when I was ready to walk away from the security of a job and paycheck to search for all that God has for me. That 'all in' moment expands the boundaries of what I am willing to do, where I am willing to go, and how much I am willing to trust God for.
     What does it all mean? For me, I think God wants to take some time in my life to wash away these thinking habits/expectations- busyness, independence, and instant gratification. He wants me to learn to Be still (Psalm 46:10) in a way I haven't before. Resting has taken effort on my part. Society and I have expectations of what and how I need to be 'doing'. True rest allows for inner peace which changes our perspective allowing us to see things clearer and do things better.  God gave us a Sabbath day to rest. Farmers know to allow fields to lie fallow in order to produce a greater crop after the rest. How does it look? I see porch swings, hammocks, watching the stars or clouds, long talks about nothing, screen porches, naps. It creates the ability to focus on one thing instead of the list of 'to do's' in our heads. Joyce Meyer once made a statement that Jesus greatest miracles were interruptions on His way to do something else. I think there has to be some inner peace and rest in order to recognize when these interruptions are opportunities for holy moments. Opportunities to pray for, listen to, write a note to, buy a book for, encourage, call, be there for someone when God desires to use us.

     I am so thankful for the people who have invested in me/my life each step of the way to bring me to the place I am today where I have the faith to step out, explore, dream, and believe God for the greater things (John 14:12) in life.

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7-9

    

Lessons and Leaps of Faith

 I see my life in separate seasons. The first was moving around every few years and learning so much about different regions of the south as well as growing up with my friends from Georgia. I have great memories of Young Life, fun on the lake, learning to serve and notice the needs of people around me through GAP, and just amazing friendships that stand through the ages. I am so thankful to the people who invested in my life to create in me the person I am today. I am also blessed and inspired by the amazing people my friends have grown up to be.

                The second season of my life has been serving others. I would not have chosen the path I have taken. I did not know anything like this even existed. I have spent the last 20 years in a neighborhood that has made it to the FBI’s most dangerous places for all of those years. It is a place where people are broken, hurting, at times dangerous, but most of all real. Life takes on new meaning when you get down to the basics of survival. I have been beaten, had a weapon pulled on me, worked in jails and prisons, worked with murderers, rapist, a serial killer, a school shooting and so much more. I have seen abuse towards children as young as 3 days old, parents who sold their children from 3 years old on to buy money for drugs, rape, torture, and so much more that defies any idea I ever had of the evil that exists in this world. I’ve learned more about prostitution, types of abuse, and murder than I ever want to know. There have been many times when I felt like I stood alone in dealing with situations. I say these things not to say anything about myself but to say that through in it all I saw the grace of God. In every situation He has taught me something:

1.    No matter how great the evil in front of me the end has already been written, God has won the victory and No One is beyond redemption. God is the Healer,

2.    When I come to the end of all that I am that gives Him the opportunity to step in and

           show me who He is (I have learned to hand stuff over sooner rather than trying to fix  
          it myself),

3.     Nothing is ever as it seems. Prostitutes/ strippers/ porn stars are not there because they like sex. They have a history of hurt and abuse. Society re-victimizes them when they engage in these activities.

4.     HURT PEOPLE HURT OTHERS. Is that not one of the most important ones for all of us to learn? It is not all about us and when people are ugly, rude, hateful, it is a reflection of what is in their heart (Matt 12:24, Prov 4:23) Understanding this can take the sting out their words and present an opportunity to extend grace which can bring healing, restoration, and freedom.

5.    Every person is a creation of God and therefore has value and worth. But for the grace of God I am the person I am and not walking in the homeless, prostitutes, etc, shoes.

6.    God uses people that are available. Most of the characters in the bible have great faults- Jonah ran in fear, David committed adultery and murdered, Moses murdered. God desires a humble and willing heart not a perfect one.

7.    We live with the effects of our sins and often the consequences of other's sins. That doesn't mean God doesn't care. We all have a free will. He is with us always and desires to heal the broken places within us.

8.    God often turns the things we think of as our greatest weaknesses into our greatest strengths if we will surrender them to him.

I can talk for days of the miracles God has allowed me to bear witness to. I am honored and humble to have been a part. I am sure I will share more over the coming weeks of the things God has shown me in this season of my life.

      The next season is upon me. I am not sure what is next for me in life. One thing I learned in the second season of my life was how to listen when God speaks, at times my life depended on it. God has been stirring my heart for several months that it is time for something different, a new season. This past week I felt Him clearly release me, tell me to take a leap of faith. I resigned from my job Friday. This is very out of character for me as those of you who know me know how reserved and budget conscious I am. I have a peace I cannot describe that God has a plan for the next season of my life and I am to get prepared. I am taking a season to rest, seek Him, and prepare for whatever is next. I look forward to seeing what He has in store. I have learned that if we are not believing God for things of biblical proportions then we are underestimating God. I am not putting any limits on what the next step is, I am going to pray and give Him room to move. God says that as a parent longs to give good things to their children He desires to give even greater things to us. So often we are used to being independent and taking care of things ourselves when what He truly desires is for us to step back and give Him room to show us who He is.

I love you all and thank you for the seeds you have sown in my life. I would love your prayers as I seek what the next season in my life will be and I thank you all for the love and support I have received in taking this leap of faith.

Tonya

 Whatever you want to do Lord, do it in me.